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SOME CREATIVE CEMETERY TRANSCRIPTIONS
Taken from the Internet.
Thanks to Robert T. Bond for the first 20 items.
New items are added to the bottom of the page.
- On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
- Here lies
- Ezekial Aikle
- Age 102
- The Good
- Die Young.
- In a London, England cemetery:
- Ann Mann
- Here lies Ann Mann,
- Who lived an old maid
- But died an old Mann.
- Dec. 8, 1767
- In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
- Anna Wallace
- The children of Israel wanted bread
- And the Lord sent them manna,
- Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
- And the Devil sent him Anna.
- Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
- Here lies
- Johnny Yeast
- Pardon me
- For not rising.
- Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania
- Here lies the body
- of Jonathan Blake
- Stepped on the gas
- Instead of the brake.
- In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
- Here lays Butch,
- We planted him raw.
- He was quick on the trigger,
- But slow on the draw.
- A lawyer's epitaph in England:
- Sir John Strange
- Here lies an honest lawyer,
- And that is Strange.
- Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
- I was somebody.
- Who, is no business
- Of yours.
- Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco,
Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in
the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
- Here lies Lester Moore
- Four slugs from a .44
- No Les No More.
- In a Georgia cemetery:
- "I told you I was sick!"
- John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
- Reader if cash thou art
- In want of any
- Dig 4 feet deep
- And thou wilt find a Penny.
- On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond,
- She always said her feet were killing her
- but nobody believed her.
- In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
- On the 22nd of June
- - Jonathan Fiddle -
- Went out of tune.
- Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an
epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges
- Here lies the body of our Anna
- Done to death by a banana
- It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
- But the skin of the thing that made her go.
- More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London,
- Gone away
- Owin' more
- Than he could pay.
- Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
- In Memory of Beza Wood
- Departed this life
- Nov. 2, 1837
- Aged 45 yrs.
- Here lies one Wood
- Enclosed in wood
- One Wood
- Within another.
- The outer wood
- Is very good:
- We cannot praise
- The other.
- On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
- Under the sod and under the trees
- Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
- He is not here, there's only the pod:
- Pease shelled out and went to God.
- The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is
almost a consumer tip:
- Who was fatally burned
- March 21, 1870
- by the explosion of a lamp
- filled with "R.E. Danforth's
- Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
- Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
- Born 1903--Died 1942
- Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
- the car was on the way down. It was.
- In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
- Here lies an Atheist
- All dressed up
- And no place to go.
- Bedfield, Suffolk, England,
- "24/3/1744 Wm Jaye was buried being the last of this name in the
parish and an end of a very worthless, malicious, ill-natured
family having for ages been remarkable for oppressing and as much
as in them lay for defrauding the Ministers of this parish of
their just dues which character this person kept up to the last
day of his life. Witness my hand, Richard Temple, Vicar of
- -- This item appeared in Missing Links, A Weekly Newsletter for Genealogists, Vol. 3, No. 48, 27 November 1998
- Attributed to Barbara Ferdinand KHSF26A@prodigy.com
- Missing Links is published by Julia M. Case and Myra Vanderpool Gormley,
- Item added Feb. 29, 2000.
- Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut
through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery
they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping
away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared
us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working
here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"